Sunday 21 May 2006

Ridiculous

The mind boggles.

At the moment we have one of Hubby's family friends from England staying with us. She is the most ridiculous person I've ever met - without a doubt.

Hubby called her a complete "wannabe".

I'd be more likely to compare her to Mrs Bennet or Mrs Elton or some other self-centred, draining, unbelievably materialistic, totally shallow character that Jane Austen created and captured so brilliantly.

The woman is in her late 50s, acts like an 18 year old, talks about herself constantly without taking a break, doesn't ask one question about anyone else, wants to be taken out here and there every single minute of the day - (I mean, I'm lucky, I pretended to have a headache so I could stay at home for a couple of hours right now) - she's insane. She doesn't shut up! Gaaaah!!!!

Since she's been here, she hasn't asked Hubby one question about his cancer treatment and how he's been doing, she hasn't even learnt my name (she keeps calling me Melanie, ffs) let alone anything about me, she talks on and on about how her boss is one of the richest men in England, all about this friend and that friend and all the men who love her and keep asking her out.

She thinks she's really well off, and she isn't - she just spends all her money on shit. She went on and on about her watch and how it's worth 6000 pounds and blah, blah, blah. She brags about how she's never done any housework in her life and how her husband used to do all the cooking and cleaning and everything (and yes, he left her for another woman about seven years ago. This sounds mean, but can you blame him? The poor guy.) She has this high-pitched, shrill voice and she talks on top of everyone, doesn't listen to anything anyone says (she says something, someone will reply, and then she says something else that shows she hasn't taken in what the other person said), she repeats the same shit over and over, gawd - I'm so glad I'm having a short break before we have to go out for dinner tonight. Kill me now!

Actually, it cracks me up. She's, as I said, in her late 50s. She looks quite hagged and ratty but she's convinced that guys are always checking her out.

We were walking around The Rocks last night, and she was saying "look at him, he keeps giving me looks, I bet he wants to get in my pants!!" {insert vomit} - How to people get to a point in their lives where they are convinced that they're something amazingly wonderful despite all evidence to the contrary??!

I don't understand how anyone can be so infuriating and not realise that people are trying very hard to refrain from yelling at them. It's only my own politeness that prevents me from shaking her and shouting "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hope her visit will be a very short one. =o)

Kira said...

I have no idea how folks can't pick up that they are annoying when they ARE so annoying! That amuses me that she thinks all these guys are checking her out. Did it ever occur to her that they might be staring at her because she's an idiot...is loud...or is comical in attitude and appearance? Man! I guess it also amuses me because for ME, unless the guy strips nude and screams out, TAKE ME NOW, it's hard for me to pick up that he's hitting on me. It's like she has my reverse problem. Haha!

How on earth did she become a family friend???

Jezzy said...

She's gone - yay! It was just the weekend. And I restrained myself! Gawd - I kid you not - she was *that* bad.

We know her because Hubby's mum was very good friends with her, although they've had a falling out recently. And my mum used to be friends with her about 30 years ago.

deemacgee said...

P O I S O N H E R

Am I right in assuming you have an adequate knowledge of biochemistry and associated skills at your disposal?

(Frick me, this isn't incriminating, is it?)