1. Boys lie.
2. Girls bitch.
There's no getting away from it.
Boys will lie to you to win your favour.
They will tell you all manner of nice things, compliment you, butter you up, stroke your female ego - all so that you will pay them just that little bit of attention.
And maybe they're happy with that bit of attention from you. Or maybe they want more. But it's what they do.
Spotting the exceptions to the rule is difficult because they all seem so nice and say such flattering things. However, here are some points of difference:
A boy will tell you he'd do anything for you. But ask him to get you a glass of water in the middle of a cold night when you're feeling ill. The lying boy will either pretend to be asleep or groan about doing it or not do it at all without a huge fuss. The genuine boy cares for you first and it won't be a big deal at all.
A boy will tell you you're beautiful. But check his reaction when he sees you first thing in the morning. The lying boy will prefer you done up, looking like something from a magazine. The genuine boy will rejoice at seeing you all messy with bed-hair and no make-up just because he thinks you looking so sweet waking up with that confused look on your face.
A boy will tell you he loves you. The lying boy has an ulterior motive. He'll only say those words to get something - emotional or physical. The genuine boy really and truly means it - but also knows that it's something to be shown more than said. He won't run at the first sight of something he can't handle.
When it's always more about them than you, you know you've got a liar. So run away before they do because eventually, they'll get bored, show their real colours and/or move on to the next one.
Girls bitch about other girls.
They bitch about those they hate, they bitch about their friends. They can't help talking shit about other people. Many girls are competitive with each other and jealous towards their friends for no apparent reason. Therefore, they say stupid things about them that are exaggerated or even false, just to make themselves look better. But bitching never makes anyone look good. Particularly when a girl manages to stab herself in the back. Bad move. God knows why we do it.
Women are so good at supporting each other when times are tough. We're better at it then are men. But we also know how to betray the ones who are closest to us. That's why more women lose friends actively, whereas for most men, friends tend to drift away passively. We have to learn to stop doing it to ourselves and to our friends.
And yes, of course I am generalising. There are some boys who don't lie, I married one of them, didn't I? There are also girls who don't bitch. I just don't know many of them...
7 comments:
But, isn't it nice to know that boys lie in order to sleep with you? It's nice to be wanted...
Sounds fairly accurate to me. Though one observation I'm made is taht women lie as well, the reason it's not noticed is taht it's often to themselves.
Ooo - very good point, Chief - about women lying to themselves.
I love how when you talk about things, Jezzy, you always adapt this attitude that isn't accusatory; and you say "we" instead of "some people." That kind of thing really makes what you write more generalizable and "louder" (reaching more people). Okay, I'm apparently still in English teacher/positive feedback mode there, lol. (Just finished teaching.)
I agree with you totally. You will really know how a man feels about you if he's willilng to tell you you're beautiful and comfort you when you're at your absolute worst, maybe even at your absolute bitchiest, lol. And you'll know a woman is a true friend when she does the same sort of thing. You're right, we women do need to learn how to stop being so cruel to one another.
The "boys lie" part reminds me of what I was told about finding the right man: find the guy who is naturally the way you like him, not the one who is doing things to impress you...because the second he catches you, those things he did to impress you (things that aren't his nature!) will go immediately. I think we all try to put our best foot forward to impress, especially in the beginning, but yes, so many guys in particular feel the need to really go nuts on that one.
I have a friend, my closest friend since I was 13, who has never to my knowledge ever been jealous of any female I've ever known. Nor has she been anything less than supportive of anybody she calls friend. Now, she's really...and I mean REALLY...picky about who she lets in, but once you are let in, it's forever and with her total heart and loyalty and trust. However, I'm aware of what you state about girls being generally true, so BELIEVE ME, I appreciate her to death! We've been friends for 23 years, and it's mostly because she's just so darn wonderful! So, Alex doesn't lie and my closest friend doesn't bitch...that makes me exceptionally lucky, doesn't it?
I found myself nodding all the way through. I also think the lying and bitching can apply to both genders: I dated plenty of women before I met my wife who lied through their teeth in much the same way you describe here.
The thing is, it's so easy to see when someone's BSing. Genuine love is so much more rewarding to observe - and be a part of.
I love watching my wife in the morning. There's something about transitioning from sleep to the rest of the day that is so desirable...makes me wish we didn't have to leave the house at all!
Well said! I feel like printing that out and reading it to my kids.
s.c - hey! But that's funny. x
chief - oh yes, we're all just as bad as each other really.
jpd - awww - thanks for the feedback - that's really nice.
Yes, the good men love us at our worst and we women do need to stop being so jealous/judgemental/competitive with each other - we all do it.
Kira - that's so true. Just the other day this girl at work had this enormous bunch of flowers delivered to her. She's been getting all these presents delivered to her at work since she's been seeing this new guy. It's too showy to me, it's fake - it's so obviously designed to win her over. That's such a turn-off to me - it's not that I don't like my little pressies and all the romance - I love it - but when it's huge, grand, expensive gestures, it just seems to fake. Like it could never last.
Carmi - yes - it does apply to both genders. You last sentence there - so very sweet. x
barbara - cool. Just don't scare them with my ramblings. They can't get this jaded at their age!
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