From the JezzyLife archives...

(First posted April 2005).

Categories of people:

1. The flotsam and jetsam

These are the people who float in and out of your life. You really don't give a shit about them. They're usually peripheral work colleagues and the like - usually you don't even get their names right. You don't really know anything much about them and you probably never will.

2. The irritants

The ones who get to you. They might shove their opinions down your throat, they might talk non-stop about very annoying things, they might even just have a rather loud voice or a bloody stupid habit. Whatever it is, people in this category just PISS YOU OFF! I'm glad to say that at the moment this category for me is rather small. However, the level can fluctuate. You never know if the new girl in the office is going to have an obsession with her wonderful new boyfriend and feel the need to tell you details about his new piercing. Just breathe - and be careful not to pull out too much hair.

3. The pleasant company

These are people who are nice to talk to. You like them. But if they went away, you wouldn't really care. But all the same, it was nice while it lasted.


4. The comfort food

The ones you can depend on. You can contact them at any time and they'll always be there for you. They're nice company and you know you can rely on them.

5. The ones who you love more than they love you

The people who you just adore but who don't seem to really care as much about you. This is slightly dysfunctional and you know it. But you can't help it. They're captivating.

6. The ones who love you more than you love them

The ones that just wont leave you alone and keep inviting you over even though you really don't have a good time with them. You probably feel a little sorry for them however, and be their friend just because you feel you should.

7. The guilt factors

The people who you should get around to writing to, calling up, or answering their email. Sometime this year. I mean, shit Jezzy, she emailled you two weeks ago! It's rude to not reply!


8. The time wasters

The ones that, after you spend time with them, make you feel like you've lost a part of your life that you will never regain. Their conversation leaves you comatose. There is no true joy in whatsoever in it. You can't even remember what it was that they were crapping on about. They serve no useful purpose but to leach your spirit.

9. The freaks

They're puzzling. You wonder what makes them tick. You may also be slightly scared of them. They make you feel good about how normal you are.

10. The comedians

They make you laugh. They might be your best friends or someone you're not that close to. Either way, you can always count on them for the old Laugh Out Loud.

11. The kindreds

Those people who you just seem to connect with for whatever reason. Just thinking about them makes you smile. There is a piece of them in your heart that will always remain there.

12. The gold

The long term true friends. The ones who know what you're thinking just by the expression on your face. The ones who know what you're going to say even before you speak.

I'm sure I've left some out. Feel free to agree/disagree or add your own...