I had this conversation last week with someone who told me that "no one cares" about him. Try as he might, he was having that stuck feeling and it was frustrating the crap out of him.
I personally think he was suffering from that thing where your internal voice says stuff like "Why doesn't anyone recognise my genius? What's wrong with these people? Don't they know who I am?! Give me some credit for being so wonderful!"
However, for me, the most freedom comes with the thought that most people don't care. Because it's true. I say to myself, "Jezzy, quit expecting anything, quit having high expectations, quit thinking someone is going to pick you out from the crowd and put you where you think you should be put." It just doesn't work that way because no one really cares about me. And that's fine.
I mean, sure, I have friends and I know they like me, but they're not going to make me the centre of their lives, and they shouldn't. That's okay. On the other hand, the 99.9% of people who I encounter daily couldn't care less what happens to me. If I dropped dead, they'd think "oh, that's sad" or "who was she again?" but it wouldn't affect their lives in any other way.
So no one really cares. Except, of course, the few who do. And they're the only ones who really count.
That's the advice I told him and he prompty called me depressing. lol
Seriously, it only sounds depressing. It's not. It just stops you from thinking that you could possibly be more important than you really are. Not everyone has to be this somebody who everyone universally likes and admires. There's nothing wrong with being a perfectly ordinary nobody, is there?
4 comments:
Not caring what other people think is one of the most liberating things in the world. =o)
OK, I'm going to have to meditate on this for a while, because I think you've hit on The Secret To A Happy Life™, or something awfuly close to it.
Well, I agree. Those that count, care; those that don't, don't. And even if they did care, they still don't count if they aren't close to me. We really are nearly always worrying needlessly about people watching us or caring because they're too wrapped up in their own little dramas to care. You're totally right.
Out of necessity, I suppose, I stopped caring about what other people thought of me back in the late 90s. I woke up one frosty July morning in 1998 and thought... fuck it, this is my life. 'twas the most empowering thing ever, and for me, it was the moment I acheived sentience.
Having said that... it still depresses me that I can be nice as pie to people, I can trust them and help them and comfort them and be there for them and even save them from themselves in a completely non-judgemental way... and I still get knifed in the spine. 'course, do that to me once and that's all it takes to sever all ties forever, but still, why does it even need to get to that point? I might not care what people think, but I stil care about what they feel, and I have always tried not to hurt people through my actions (unless it was a question of my fundamental rights as a human being, to live, love, be, feel and think freely)... and it's fucking depressing when others do not reciprocate. If we were all just nicer to each other... and just a little more polite... it'd be a happier world, and I can't understand why people think it's so bloody impossible to do. It's really not.
Post a Comment