I don't often talk about religion or prayer, and I know it's terribly
un-Australian and even cringeworthy to do so! But, deep breath, here
goes...

At church yesterday, the priest was talking about the suffering which
everyone carries.

He said that we had all brought with us our own experience of
suffering - whether it's pain, cancer, remembering our losses, grief
at the passing away of those close to us, relationship breakdowns,
divorce, sick children, sick parents, our own aging, financial
hardships, mental illness, stress associated with our jobs, our
studies, disappointment with ourselves, others etc.

We're all going through something.

And whatever we're going through, we need to bring it with us and not
try to hide it or think that we're not worthy because of those things.

We need to live through these things. Not discard them, repress them
or think they'll just go away.

These things form part of our lives. The way we deal with suffering
shows what kind of people we are. Everyone can stay motivated, happy,
driven and rejoiceful if things are going great. But to do so when
things aren't so great is the true test of character. I need to keep
remembering that. It's not about getting bitter, stressed, resentful.
It's not about wishing things were different.

So, for me, right now, these are the things for which I pray.

I'm not generous enough to think of everyone else and to always
remember the more important things - the things bigger than me. But
I'm not out to ask for anything specific. I know it doesn't work that
way.

So help me to grow.

Help me to remember that it's not all about what I want, what I long
for, what I desire from life.

Help me to realise that caring and loving others isn't about having
control or posession over them, it's about wanting what's best for
them. Even if that has nothing to do with me.

Help me find peace.

Help me to let go. Even if there's years of history, even if there's a
lot for me to lose, even if i keep changing my mind. Because things
change, and it's not always bad, it's just different.

Help me to realise that when things are beyond my control, I have to
try my best, and then, let it be.

It's not all about sweetness and light. It's not all about trying to
reclaim the fantastic life I used to lead. It's not all about everyone
doing what's best for me, taking care of me, fixing things for me. I'm
not that spoilt little girl with everything anymore, I'm an adult with
the power to make my own decisions. And I need to learn how to live
with the results of my decisions. There's no one to blame anymore, no
one to fall back on.

Sometimes things don't work out.

I'm a drop in the ocean, I'm a drop in the ocean.
I even wrote a speech about that in highschool and I have to remember
that it's not a bad thing to be a drop in the ocean.

It's not about being insignificant - it's about remembering that the
world doesn't revolve around me.

So things don't always work out. Things might take a turn for the
worse. Things might turn horrible before they get better.

But, whatever happens, help me find me the strength to deal with it,
and the grace to learn from it.

Yeah, sorry to be this corny. lol
I just had to let it out. I've never prayed on a blog before, but,
hey, it's just another way of doing it, sharing it, right?