So I got all dolled up for the 10 year school reunion on Sat night.
I'm so glad I didn't have to rock up there alone - it must've taken a
lot of guts for those who did do that - but I had the company of two
very good friends.
Just before we got there, we got a SMS from the fourth member of our
group - Jo - who is currently in the UK. She wrote:
"Have a gr8 time 2nite ladies. Can't believe it's 10yrs! Love &
regards to all. I want goss & pics monday! Enjoy xx"
Well Jo, we had a great time and missed you heaps and heaps (out
little group is not the same without you). I didn't take my camera but
there was plenty of other people taking photos and I'm sure they'll
get sent around soon.
Firstly dear readers, contrary to some of the warnings I received from
some of you in response to my last post, I had a fantastic time!
Ten years down the track, almost everyone looked pretty much the same.
Everyone I spoke to was gorgeous, had done really well, and were
really, really nice.
I know there's a tendency for some people to shun reunions as it's
thought that school was full of all these horrible people, you stay
friends with the ones you like anyway, so it's just best to forget the
whole experience - but I disagree.
People change a hell of a lot in 10 years. And school is so cliquey -
especially private all-girls' schools - that you don't really get to
know a lot of people for who they are as individuals. Especially if
you were quiet, kinda kooky and not terribly social (like me).
So I spoke to all these people I hardly had spoken to in the past,
people I thought I didn't like - even though I had no reason to not
like them - and I found out that they were lovely girls, all in their
own way.
I don't hold grudges and there's a reason for that - I have no problem
being friends with people who I've clashed with strongly in the past
and if anything, those friendships are stronger and more interesting
than others. So it was great to re-connect, in particular, with one
girl who I used to be quite close to but, because of a series of the
usual post-school crap and bitchiness, lost touch with the rest of us.
So we exchanged phone number and *will* be in touch soon.
Quite a few people asked me if I was still playing the piano and
violin and composing and I forget sometimes that I was known as being
a daggy muso back in those days. Even though I still play, and teach,
music I don't compose anymore. Back then, composing was my favourite
thing and I literally wrote hundreds of pieces as a teen - all
scribbled onto manuscript paper. But I'm way too "safe" and I crave
stability too much to have wanted to persue that as a career (although
I truly admire those who do. A friend of mine *has* persued music
performance as a career and I do believe you have to be completely
focussed and driven to be successful - I don't have that talent).
However one thing remains with me from the time I spent sitting at my
piano scribbling down notes and ideas with a pencil - I still can't
listen to any music without picking apart the layers in my head an
analysing it to pieces.
And I'm going off on a tangent. Back to the reunion.
None of the "queen bees" were there. I actually think it's hard for
people like that to turn up to such events - they were so full of
themselves back then and they thought they were so good, that they
can't help but be an utter disappointment.
To answer some things that Jo would've been curious about, about half
the girls were married, although hardly anyone had kids (like me, most
people are waiting until they're closer to 30!). A lot of people still
live in the area, most people look better than they did 10 years ago,
and there weren't any shock revelations - no "OMG!" goss about anyone.
In telling people what I've done over the last 10 years, I felt
really good because even though it seems like the years have flown by
and that there's still so many things I want to do, it's fine. I've
done a hell of a lot.
I was having a conversation with the friend I'd lost touch with
(mentioned above) and while telling her about the all the stuff I've
done, and, in particular, the stuff I've gone through in the last 12
months, I had this voice in my head which was saying "Jez, you have a
right to have felt all the confusing and messed up feelings you've
been feeling lately. Many people fall apart going through any one of
those things and you've been through it all!" And I felt really happy.
And I also felt that even though I'm not through it all yet, I'll get
there! I know I will.
So if you have a reunion coming up, or a chance to meet up with people
you haven't caught up with in ages - do it! Rather than focussing on
the crap that was then, it's good to use it to focus on the good that
is now.
And all the people from highschool, most of them turn out to be
really, really nice.
7 comments:
I'm glad you had fun!
I went to my 15 year...my first and last high school reunion. It is fun to catch up on the gossip, and like you, I realized that most people change for the better. That said, I have no desire to ever go to another one.
Although I'm delighted that you had a fantastic time, I still don't buy your reasoning (at least, for it to apply to ME!) to attend one myself. Going to the same school isn't a reason alone to track people down whom I once never spoke to at school and then suddenly make friends with them. I'm sure they HAVE changed for the better for the most part, but if I want new friends, I'm just as good hunting them down here in my current life at my current location than going to a school reunion (gees, my 20th is coming up soon...as in next May) to see which ones of my old class I can make today. Besides, there were several who hated me my Freshman year who loved me by my Senior year, so I certainly felt like I made peace with folks even if we didn't chat or hang out all the time! Nope, my desire to go to one is about zero percent. But I'm truly glad that you went and enjoyed yourself, and I'm extra glad you had that revelation as you spoke to that girl that your feelings have been justified considering your circumstance. Yayness is around the corner ;)
I might have gone, but was never invited. My 20 year reunion should be next year. If I get invited, I may go. I may even be nice and leave the napalm at home.
There's no way I'm missing mine. Curiosity would KILL me!!
I'm glad you had a great time.
What a relief, dearie - doesn't sound anywhere near as painful as we faithful readers had expected! Very glad you had a great time. :o)
Your experience may be somewhat... encouraging... but I still don't think I'd willingly return to that poisonous environment - even to visit. I've learnt a very valuable lesson this year: don't go backwards. I'm much the same person I used to be, except I no longer value myself by the judgements of others... oh, and the eccentricity is a smidge more... erm... pronounced. Of course, this means I'm ripe for ridicule by most people - it doesn't bother me, but it's so hard to have an interesting conversation with someone whilst they flout your flowery phrasing.
I especially liked this quote: I have no problem being friends with people who I've clashed with strongly in the past and if anything, those friendships are stronger and more interesting than others.
ooooooh, I bailed on my first re-union. Actually... I bailed and then found out it was postponed, reconsidered, then bailed again. I'm banking on everyone else looking fatter, tireder, and dumber than me by the time the next one comes around. Well I need to cling to something!!!
Oh BTW if your stats indicate excessive blog archive trawling, don't worry... it was only me. ;)
I didn't go to my 15th, but I wish now that I had. I will go to the 20th if we have one. (We didn't have a 10th.) I think getting back in touch with old friends is a great thing. I have had some free time on my hands lately (back injury), and I have talked to people I hadn't talked with in five or six years. It's been really fun.
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