section of the Sydney Morning Herald:
"I am expecting my first baby and looking forward to becoming a
mother. The only problem is my partner's attitude. I used to be a
model, and he's very proud of my body. He's suggested that I have a
caesarean, so that I stay tight. Also, he doesn't want me to
breastfeed because he believes it will ruin my boobs. I like to look
good, but I want to do what's best for my baby."
The answer given was oh so non-judgemental and sensible.
This is how I would have responded:
Dear Expectant Mother,
Run while you can, my dear!
You are partnered with an absolute loser.
Do you really want your kid raised by this shallow, image-obsessed ape?
Do you think a man who says things like this will love you and think
you're adorable when you're 80?
Do you think he's capable of seeing your inner beauty so that his
feelings for you wouldn't change if you were disfigured in a bad
accident?
Is he the type of guy who would say that your little stretch marks are
sweet or who kisses your laugh lines?
No.
This type of man will not be up at 4am with a crying baby just so you,
as an exhausted mother, can have a lie in.
This is not the type of man who has stopped checking out 16 year old
girls walking to school.
This is not the type of man who won't try to replace you for a 25 year
old once you turn 40.
You made a dumb enough decision getting pregnant to him in the first
place (although you're a model, brains aren't your strength, are
they?) But know that you will not be young and beautiful forever.
Also - the guy is putting his interests before your baby's health. Do
you really think someone that self-centred is capable of being a good
parent?
There's nothing wrong with wanting to look good. Everyone wants to
look good and everyone should put in some effort to look nice. But
there's a difference between spending a little time grooming and
making decisions based just on pure vanity.
You know what? The thought of giving birth naturally and breastfeeding
scares the crap out of me too because I've seen the crap my friends
have gone through. But some things more important that just thinking
"oh noes - I will be stretched and my boobies will sag - what will my
boyfriend think?!"
Thank you and good luck,
Jezzy.
10 comments:
Good God, what a dimwit. So he wants her to go through major abdominal surgery instead of the alternative?????
And, breastfeeding can help you get back to your pre-preg weight and shape. So even if you end up with the equivalent of two socks full of porridge, you'll probably be back in your skinny jeans. And the sock porridge phenomenon can be hidden with a good bra!
Hear hear!
heh heh, tell it like it is Jezzy!!
O dia 25 de Abril de 1974 foi o dia do derrube da ditadura fascista em Portugal, a chamada REVOLUÇÃO DOS CRAVOS, e a queda do (poder) dos inimigos do povo. 25 de Abril, sempre.
Day 25 of April of 1974 was the day of it knocks down of the dictatorship fascist in Portugal, the call REVOLUTION OF the flowers, and the fall of the power of the enemies of the people. 25 of April, forever!
يوم 25 نيسان 1974 كان يوم تقرع عليها من الديكتاتوريه الفاشيه في البرتغال والدعوة للثورة الزهور ، وسقوط سلطة أعداء الشعب. 25 نيسان ، الى الابد!
День 25 апреля 1974 года, в день он постучит в воздухе фашистской диктатуры в Португалии слово О РЕВОЛЮЦИИ цветы, и падение власти враги народа. 25 апреля, навсегда!
Le jour 25 d'avril de 1974 était le jour de lui frappe vers le bas du fasciste de dictature au Portugal, de la RÉVOLUTION d'appel des fleurs, et de la chute de la puissance des ennemis du peuple. 25 d'avril, pour toujours !
Tag 25 von April von 1974 war der Tag von ihm klopft unten vom Diktaturfaschisten in Portugal, von der Anruf REVOLUTION der Blumen und vom Fall der Energie der Feinde von den Leuten. 25 von April, für immer
Amen to THAT!
You should seriously be dishing advice on teh intarwebs. Clearly, some twats need reality cheques and you're just the woman to write them.
[delurk] Migawd, Jez. You could write this stuff in one window, while doing IM in another, while researching a work project in a third, while on the phone, filing your nails and munching a row of Cadbury's, all at the same time - *and* with half your brain tied behind your back, just to make it fair - and your posts would still be better than what just about anyone else can muster on their very best day. As usual, good post. [/delurk]
Jezzy my dear you have found your calling! Move over Dr. Laura, Jezzy is in town!
I concur, you are better than the Dear Abby types and spot on. Do some more there is enough fodder out there for several lifetimes, and enough money so as to sit home writing and eating Godiva Chocolate and Dom Perignon in "humble anonimity"
:)
Well, let's see: happy sprogging time and a permanent smiley face on your lower abdomen vs wind-flappy labia and cavernous wajeena.
I know what I'd choose.
I hope the columnist really did tell her something along these lines! I didn't get a C-Section, but I know what my sister went through, and no man who really loves a woman would even entertain the notion of putting her through that if another option were available.
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