to go around the place being a complete wallflower. It's seriously
frustrating when the less talented or the less qualified shine out and
are given all manner of recognition and opportunities while I might as
well be invisible for the all the impact I seem to make.
But as Hubby tells me, I am seriously my own worst enemy for knowing
all these things and still not being assertive enough.
Being the nice girl just doesn't work to get one ahead in this world.
10 comments:
Oh Jezzy, my sweet.
How often our lives are in parallel.
I see a lot of that where I work - the noisy and less valuable workers get all the praise and attention, whereas I am largely forgotten. The problem is that I don't want to be a loudmouth self-promoter, so I just accept that my quiet dignity also means I may miss some accolades. Fortunately I work for people who appreciate what I do even though they don't fully understand it.
Maybe you could bolster your paycheck with some online nudity? That option is available to me, so I'll go back to my cubicle.
I just spat water over my keyboard reading グラント's last suggestion.
And I'm at work, too.
It's difficult trying to balance the desire for recognition against the need to remain true to one's own sense of subtlety. You'd know better than most about the struggles in my last few jobs, and the more I think about it, the more obvious it is: the vast majority of managers, directors and other leadership types would not recognise a good idea (or worker) if it came up and anally raped them. Sad fact.
They do recognise - and much to their own discredit - the loud people, and will consistently assume them to be the "go-getters", the "team-players", and the "up-and-comers" simply by "virtue" of their infinite visibility. We all know this is bullshit - the loud ones are usually (over)compensating for an obvious weakness.
My advice to you is to either find a way to be challenged in your job - to the point where someone must take notice - or find a workplace with better managers who either aren't afraid, or are actually able, to spot someone who's doing well.
But please, my darling Jezz, don't do what I did: sit there for 18 months and stew and fester and end up bitter, angry and unable to ask for a well-deserved reference praising you for the six years of frankly, brilliant, work you'd given them, thereby severely diminishing your chances of future employment and taking you A FULL YEAR to secure another job.
Promise me, okay?
Okay??
*hugs*
Welcome to the world of the introvert. Being assertive at work is almost physically impossible for those of us stuck down the wallflower end of the outgoingness scale!
I've seen it happen many, many times. My personal recommendation is that you work on developing a relationship with one or several upper-management folks. I had several Mentors and they were my advocates during discussions when I wasn't present or able to promote myself.
Yes, you're right, the quiet ones who just do their work are rarely recognized for their efforts. I don't think you have to go out and remind people point blank of what you do and how great you are in order to get where you want to go, though. I just think you probably need to be more assertive, interactive, and vocal whenever you have an opportunity if you really want to get ahead. I know that's way easier said than done to those who are more shy! I mean really--wouldn't the head honchos RATHER have somebody who, instead of talking and going around the office, politicking, would just buckle down and plow through some work? Well, sometimes that's valued in some workplaces, but most of the time they just don't see the value of those folks (who are usually the hardest workers in the office!). It sucks for sure.
Assertive... what does that mean exactly? You know, I think if we could get a clear definition on it, it might help those of us trying to master it learn to use it. I still believe that what goes around comes around, so I know you've got good karma heading your way. Sure is tough to hold out for it sometimes, huh? =o(
Darling, we are all part of the great cosmus,....enjoy and just be part of life!!
Mr. G.
Spotted your comment over on the Hug Campaign! Just dropping by.
I'm neither quiet, nor nice. And I'm much to old to be a girl. However, I have learned to simply speak up. I try not to be rude. But speaking truth becomes more appealing to me, the older I get. However, it does get me in trouble sometimes. It's a balance, I suppose. And it probably comes with making a few mistakes--but why not go for the other end of the spectrum? Unless, of course, speaking up really would get you fired -- I'm sort of fond of living indoors too!
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