We are now officially the "rich bastards" who must be punished!

Oh my goodness - I am so incensed!

So Treasurer Wayne Swan seems to think that everyone falls under two
definitions - they're either classified as "working families" or
"wealthy millionaires".

Under Labor's warped definitions, we seem to be "wealthy
millionaires." Ha!! I wish!
So we now we miss out because we earn more than the magic 150K mark?
And…by that same token, we must also not be one of the "working
families" who Labor is so keen to support.
What nonsense.

I understand the reasons for wanting to means test such things, and I
agree that there's people dripping in diamonds out there who really
don't need it but I am really angry that this is based on gross income
which can bear absolutely no relation to disposable income.

Seriously, everyone has different circumstances and slogging high
income earners in such a blanket way is just a typical Labor stunt.

Kevin and Wayne, women like me have worked really hard to get where we
are. There's years of study and hard work involved. Cash bonuses like
the 5K Baby Bonus aren't a welfare payment, they're just what they are
- a bonus payment for having a baby!

It's worth a good month's salary to me! This is important - if I have
kids, I want to be able to take a least a year off work and this kind
of scheme really helps.

It's been so long that I forgot what life was like under a lefty government...

That's right - I'm supposed to move to a rental place Bankstown, get
work as a low-paid receptionist and become a single mother to five
kids. Then I'll get classified as a "working family doing it tough"
and I'll get all sorts of payments coming my way!!

Hate and Love

Hate:

1. The Australia Post at Macquarie Shopping Centre. For many reasons
but mainly for the tall girl who works there. She is a complete form
nazi. They are so frustrating me at the moment that they make top of
the list. (All to do with my application for a new passport. Try
making an appointment there - just try - it's actually impossible
without going into the shop and waiting in the queue - which can be
for an hour if you have to go during your lunch break - and that's
just to make the appointment! Or you can call and get transferred for
half an hour and still not speak to anyone).
Grrr.

2. Brigitte from Big Brother for being a vacuous, pointless, Paris
Hilton-wannabe, waste of existence. I hate girls like that - stupid,
self-centred and spoilt with no feelings for anyone else.
And it would actually be funny to watch if it wasn't for the fact that
she's a clone of my husband's business partner's girlfriend! I don't
think it's possible to know how destructive such people can be until
you see the impact they have on friends and close ones.
She drives the business partner up the wall, he turns into a moody
bastard and take it out on my husband who gets all wound up about it
and then I stress.
And it shits me that this pointless, piece of brain-dead drivel has an
impact on me!

3. The current state and federal government who are reminding my why I
never vote Labor.
The state govt because of no improvements at all to roads and
transport in Sydney's Northern Beaches/North Shore for years and years
and years merely as punishment for being a Liberal heartland.
The federal govt for blaming high income earners for everything.

Hate the way that high income earners are punished for actually
working hard to get to be a high income earner!
And hate the way they think the more you earn, the more money you
spend so the best way to stop interest rate rises, all the problems in
the world etc. is to stop high income earners having money to spend.
Hate this socialist government. Seriously - I had more spending power
when I had half as much money coming in, because on 50K, I had a tiny
mortgage and no other expenses.

Higher end earners have always be penalised by Labor govts for working
hard and being paid accordingly. We already pay 45% tax on wages,
having put ourselves through years of university and additional study
to get to where we are. By the time our wages have gone towards tax,
huge mortgage of living in a nice part of Sydney and also providing
housing for renters, food and petrol and bills, bills, bills, plus
saving up to have a baby in the future, there isn't much left.
Would they rather I quit my job and claimed welfare? I think I'd be better off.

Love:

1. Choir performances. We had another performance last Sunday - yay -
love it. Love the music - so wonderful.

2. Sweet About Me by Gabrielle Cilmi. It's just stuck in my head. Great song.

3. Hubby. He's all so lovely and sweetness.

It's funny how it's easier to rant about what I hate!

Because there's nothing like revisiting a retro meme...

Quiz Thingy

10 Favorites
~
Favorite Season:
Summer because there's so many events happening in this city

Favorite Sport:
Dancing really badly

Favorite Time:
Home time

Favorite Colour:
Dark red

Favorite Actor:
Hmmm, not too sure.

Favorite Actress:
Cate Blanchett, although she's getting a little too overexposed. I'm
not too keen on actors playing politics.

Favorite Ice Cream:
New Zealand Natural Cookies and Cream

Favorite Food:
Pasta with fresh pesto

Favorite Drink:
Diet coke

Favorite Place:
My house

~~~

9 Currents
~
Current Feeling:
Nothing. Which is good - at least it's not sad.

Current Underwear Color:
Ahem. Let me check. Dark pink.

Current Windows Open:
Outlook, Word, Access, IE

Current Drink:
Ovaltine

Current Time:
5pm (oooh - hometime!)

Current Mobile(s):
Nokia - a hand-me-down.

Current Show on TV:
I don't know - I'm at work!

Current Thought:
My contact lenses are a bit dry.

Current Clothes:
Dark jeans (it's Friday), dark blue cashmere jumper, black ballet-style shoes

~~~

8 Firsts
~
First Nickname:
Jez

First Kiss:
I was drunk and 17. He was a very nice boy who I then dated for three
months and dumped. He's a bus driver these days.

First Crush:
Hmmm, Carl in year 4. He was really smart and is now a good looking lawyer.

First Best Friend:
Joanne. Who wasn't the sharpest tool in the box. She's now a mother
of, I dunno, three, I think. Unmarried and living with her parents. We
lost contact.

First Vehicle I drove:
1979 Holden Sunbird. Yep - my age.

First one I owned:
Our cute Mazda3 hatch who is really sweet. We love him. Hubby wants to
replace him with a more upmarket car. I think that's so mean. Zoom
Zoom is part of the family!

First Job:
Bakery assistant

First Movie:
ET

First Pet:
Random fish

First Shave:
Legs when I was 12. Using my Dad's razor. As you do when you're 12.

~~~

7 Lasts
~
Last Drink:
Tea

Last Kiss:
My lovely, lovely hubby this morning.

Last Time I drove:
Last weekend to my Aunt's house

Last Time Shaved:
Underarms - regularly!

Last Web Site Visited:
www.smh.com.au

Last Movie Watched:
Be Kind Rewind. It was okay.

Last Pill I Had:
Ibuprofen two days ago for a headache caused by the really cold
weather in the evening. Makes my teeth hurt!

~~~

6 Have You Evers
~
Have You Ever Broken the Law:
Speeding a bit when I was on my P plates. I'm really a good girl - I
have nothing juicy to add here!

Have You Ever Been Drunk:
A lot once I turned 18. Rarely since I turned 22. You get over it.

Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know:
See answer for previous question.

Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire or Bomb Blast:
Nope.

Have You Ever Skinny Dipped:
Once, maybe, in the pool at home when no one else was around.

Have You Ever Broken Anyone's Heart:
I don't think so. Except for the bus driver mentioned above. But I'm
sure he got over it after 5 minutes.

~~~

5 Things
~
You Can Hear Right Now:
A photocopier. People typing.

Things on Your Bed:
Sheets, quilt, pillows, teddy bear. Just the standard things.

Things You Ate Today:
Breakfast - ham and cheese sandwich, Lunch - turkey, spinach and
beetroot sandwich with miso soup.

Also a Raffelo chocolate, an apple and cinnamon muffin bar, a few
pieces of ginger candy, some mouthfuls of Ovaltine from the tin until
I started to feel sick, a mandarin, an apple, a hot chocolate and
numerous cups of tea (oh my goodness, I really hoover up crap between
meals, not wonder I can't get rid of the muffin top!)

Things You Can't Live Without:
My husband and my parents. And food, shelter, etc.

Things You Do When You Are Bored:
Burn time online, surf Facebook, read blogs, read the SMH.
Revisit a retro meme...

~~~

4 Places
~
You Have Been today:

Home
Work
Macquarie shopping centre
That's it.

~~~

3 Things On Your Desk Right Now
~
Highlighters
Mug
Tin of Ovaltine

~~~

2 Choices
~
Black or White:
Black

Hot or Cold:
Hot

~~~

1 Thing You Want To Do Before You Die
~
Explode with joy.

things

1. Our first choir concert for the year was really lovely. We have a
smaller chorale concert coming up on Mother's Day.
Me like singing in concerts.

2. I cut my hair off.
Kinda on a whim but as it turns out, it was a big deal! My long curls
defined me dammit - like that whatzit girl, Felicity. Although, I have
to say, I like the short bouncy curls. My hair feels so much more
healthy as well. And I feel a bit more grown up.

3. I've been unwell over the long weekend which really sucked. I think
I'm letting myself get run down - not enough fruits, veggies and water
- I never usually get sick but at the moment, I feel really wiped out.

4. I really, really enjoyed the Big Brother launch last night - the
characters were great! Loved the guy who believes in UFOs and the
other one with the squeaky voice, oh, and the one who escaped from the
cult. Not to mention the midget, the grandma and the abbatoir worker.
This is good - I tuned out last year due to boredom (they were all
bland and blonde - why?) so I have high hopes for good, voyeuristic
entertainment this year.

5. Is it possible to go out in this fair city these days without
coming across an ex-reality TV contestant? I think I've come across
someone from almost every season of every reality show. On Saturday I
saw Vanessa from So You Think You Can Dance Australia (is that name
long enough?) chowing down on some sushi in Chatwood.

6. I'm glad that SBS are soon to screen the next season of Skins. That
show is brilliant.

7. I have almost finished draft 6, I think, of the paper I want to
publish - gaah - I hate having things like that at the back of my
mind.

8. It's fucking freezing. Seriously, what happened? I left work
yesterday evening and stepped outside and, excuse my french, but I
thought my tits were going to freeze off! It was fine during my lunch
break - what's going on!?

9. I have to get passport photos done for a new passport. I hate
passport photos. I'm also due for a new driver's license this year. I
hate my driver's license photo. Gaah - me do not like the people who
take those photos at the RTA as they are crappy photo-takers.

Howdy

I'm laughing here at the lobbyists trying to change schools from using
terms like "Mum and Dad" etc, who want the term "partner" used instead
to refer to all relationships so that there's no discrimination.

How ridiculous.

I really, really hate that word. There's one person I work with who
always asks me "how's your partner?" when referring to my husband and
it really annoys me!
Is this just me here?

Partner is such a cop out word. The only people who use is are trying
to validate a relationship that isn't a marriage.

Seriously, there's nothing wrong with girlfriend/boyfriend - why not
just use that - why be ashamed of that? I'd even have more respect for
the tongue-in-cheek term "lover". But the use of partner outside of a
business/law/sporting relationship is just really try hard.

That's what I reckon anyway.

Over Committed

Life feels like a never-ending cycle at the moment.
I'm working at the pharma company full time, practising as a
pharmacist on Saturdays, marking papers for graduate pharmacy
students, trying to write up some more PhD research for publication,
writing an abstract for the conference I'm presenting in September
(yay - am being paid to go to Switzerland!)

Then there's the student I have once a week for piano and violin
lessons, three hours of choir and chorale a week - not including the
practice needed.

I hardly get out to see friends which is pretty bad - as most
evenings, I either visit with my parents or my aunt and cousins. Plus
at the moment, I'm helping to take care of my grandma on weekends.

So right now, it's Saturday, and I don't even feel like going out
tonight. I just want sleep. I need an extra day per week just to catch
up because I don't have enough time to dedicate to my house and garden
and there's a dead, headless possum in my front garden and it's just
so completely disgusting and people should not have cats in this
country because they kill our native wildlife and are evil.

So...

...if I feel this frazzled, and I don't even have kids yet, how am I
going to cope when I'm a proper grown-up with kidlets in my care??

Sacred

Thanks for the tips, readers! I'm not going to the party, we proposed
to take him out to dinner another night.
As for my Dad, his court case is at the end of this month.

In other news, my Aunt started chemo yesterday. She'll have 6 cycles -
one every three weeks. Hopefully this wont be too bad and hopefully
it'll work.

I have some good news - the person at work who really, really get's on
my nerves because of her over-competitiveness with me - is pregnant!
Yay! She'll be gone for a year and then will only be back part time.

How I rejoiced at the news of the imminent child.

(Yes I am really, really shallow but tis nice to be able to get rid of
the competition - it's been driving me nuts!)

I'm really enjoying choir at the moment.

Even though I've sung in various choirs for 20 years now and have sung
in Latin many times before, it's only now that I've really been hit
with the sheer beauty of the language and the music. We're currently
singing this Latin Mass and it's so majestic. For the first time it
made me think that in our efforts to make religion accessible, so much
can be lost - people my age don't have a clue about such music unless
we specifically study it. Even if we do go to church, we don't get to
hear such stuff unless we go special Mass - and such events have an
air of snobbery about it - I don't like that either - it should be for
everyone, it's not as inaccessible as people think.

The role of art, beauty and music in religion should never be underestimated.

Too often are "classic" hymns sung like a dying age cat crying out for
food - and too often are they replaced with cringe-worthy "happy
clappy" stuff aimed at the "young people". I hate to say it, but I
changed the time of Mass I attend to avoid the "youth Mass" because I
couldn't take the PowerPoint projector with lyrics to Shine, Jesus,
Shine and some 14 year old playing the guitar while everyone trying to
encourage the congregation to wave their hands in the air like they
just don't care. It sounds mean, but I don't want to sit through that
- it feels fake and it makes the baby Jesus cry.

What I never truly realise before though, is how powerful some pieces
of music can be in a religious sense. Widor's Mass sounds so
transcendental, so sacred and so commanding. I almost end up in tears
by the end as I feel it in my mind, my heart and my gut.

Singing this, being inside this music, is so amazing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUztsFXpoHg

How do I get out of it? Advice please...

So what's the ettiquette when a friend invites you to his birthday
party but it's at the races on a Saturday morning and it's going to
cost $140 (that's US$129) per head and with two people, it's going to
be, well, $280 and you really can't afford it, and even if you could,
you can't justify spending that amount of money on a 27th birthday
party for someone who is old enough to know better than to expecty his
friends to cough up that much money on him?

And what do you say to get out of it without being labelled a tightarse?

In other news, my Dad got picked up last night for drink driving.
He blew a 0.055. Hubby and I picked him up from the police station.

I have to say, I have no sympathy for the nagging my Mum is going to
give him for the rest of his life. My poor mum had been stranded at
the side of the road because she doesn't drive. Hubby drove her home
and I drove Dad home - they needed to be separated as she was shaking
and would have ripped his head off. He's just such a larrikin about it
all - I really hope he grows up and learns his lesson because he can't
run his business if he loses his license.

Crazy 8s

So I found this on Grant's blog some time ago, saved it, and figured I'd do it some time when I got bored.

So here it is...

8 things I’m passionate about:

1. Hubby
2. Family
3. Good food
4. Good music
5. Good books
6. Good movies
7. Growing flowers
8. Being a super-acheiver without trying too hard

8 things I want to do before I die:

1. Have kids - nice ones who say things like "Mummy, can I help you with the ironing? I do so love to help you, Mummy." Nice kids. I don't want those horrible bratty things you see all too often these days. (Yes, in my head, my kids speak in dulcet English tones using perfect Received Pronounciation.)

2. Cultivate my passive-aggressive tendancies so I can use them for good and not for evil.

3. Spend a month in Italy doing general touristy things and eating and waving my hands in the air, gesturing wildly, as I talk.

4. Learn how to drive more assertively - without constantly getting stuck behind buses in peak hour traffic.

5. Pay off my mortgage miraculously before I hit 35, thus removing massive burden linked to ridiculous property prices in this part of Sydney and stupid, stupid rising interest rates.

6. Win the lottery and be able to donate all the money to family. I won't need any of it because I paid off the mortgage already and am no longer burdened by bank.

7. Think up a brilliant business idea for Hubby in which I act as the silent partner providing guidance while he runs with it and gets all the glory, thus removing him from his current situation with a business partner who I don't really like because I can't stand arrogant people who have no reason to be so full of themselves.

8. Stop being so judgemental of people.


8 things I often say:

1. Um
2. Okay
3. Kinda like
4. Yep…so, yeah.
5. I dunno.
6. Are you serious?
7. Excitement!
8. Yay!

8 books I’ve read recently:

1. The Geraldine Conspiracy - Anne Chambers (I didn't like it and didn't finish it. I only chose it for the title.)
2. The Blind Assasin - Margaret Atwood. (Oooooh - love her stuff! Want to obsessively read all her books!)
3. Gardening Australia Magazine. (Can this count as book?)
4. The Hogfather - Terry Pratchett - after seeing the TV adaptation over Christmas.
5. Stardust - Neil Gaiman
6. Falling Angels - Tracy Chevalier
7. Making Money - Terry Pratchett
8. Can I count the multitude of scientific articles I read all the time?

Three of the above books were re-read (or in the case of Stardust, listened to as an audiobook - it was better listening to than reading that one). I always think that it's nice to revisit good books after a couple of years.

8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over:

1. Raspberry Swirl - Tori Amos (my fav "walking with ipod" tune - because it makes the walk a strut.)
2. Emily - Joanna Newsom
3. Fidelity - Regina Spector
4. Space They Cannot Touch - Kate Miller-Heidke
5. Bertie - Kate Bush (I know she wrote it about her son, but to me, it's about Hubby - all sweetness and light "luverly, luverly, luverly, luverly Hubby" and "you give me so much joy, then you give me…more joy…")
6. Perfect Now - Sarah Blasko
7. George - Special Ones
8. Flame Trees - Cold Chisel

8 things that attract me to my best friends:

1. They're so cute just for being special in their own special way.
2. Their diversity. It's hard to write this list as I really like such different people.
3. Funnyness.
4. Quirkyness.
5. Sweetness.
6. Being able to contact them only every 6 months or so, but still knowing that they luv me and that they know I am not ignoring them.
7. Funny emails that make me laugh at work.
8. Their willingness to want to be friends with me. (Why? Why??!)

8 people I think should do Crazy 8s

You, you, you. You, you. You, you and oh yeah, you.

My aunt's (mum's older sister) operation has been moved forward to today. She's having a total hysterectomy and I suppose the surgeon will visually inspect for further spread of the cancer before she has scans and further lab tests later on in the week. It's very scary to think about what stage she'll be at, knowing how long she's been symptomatic.

 

Grandma and another aunt (mum's younger sis) arrived from Malaysia last week. Grandma stayed at our house over the weekend. It really made me appreciate how hard it is for that aunt to take care of Grandma full time. It's non-stop and quite exhausting.

 

Don't get me wrong - life is not a black hole at the moment. It's been nice spending practically everyday with extended family. It's all about staying positive, I suppose, and spending loads of time enjoying each other's company.

My aunt (mum's sister) was diagnosed with uterine cancer yesterday.

It's just so shocking - and frustrating. I mean, she's been through enough in the past couple of years - including a very painful divorce. How much more can one person take?

 

We wont know much more until her operation in a couple of weeks, but at the moment, we do know that it's stable - however, the extent of the spread could be very bad indeed. I don't think her oncologist was very positive when he was telling her about what he saw during her D&C.

 

She's had symptoms for two years and like a typical health professional, never did anything about it.

 

Anyway, my grandma and another aunt are coming to Australia for a holiday, arriving tommorow. They haven't been told about it yet as there's no point in worrying them during their flight over here. Actually, we don't know if we're going to tell grandma at all. It's not good to withhold information, but in the elderly, things like the c word can cause such a shock that they find it hard to recover.

 

My mum and my cousins and, well, all the family are just really upset about it at the moment.

 

Stuff happens that is just so weird.

I'm back - and exhausted!

Thanks so much for the helpful and supportive comments to my last post. I wuvs you all. x

 

 

It's funny, because after that horrible work week, I had a great one last week. I was involved in conducting some presentations and got to spend time in Melbourne and Brisbane as well as here in Sydney. I got some great feedback and decided that they must like me if they're going to invest in sending me around the place to do such things.

 

So that was a bit of okay.

I'm more annoyed at myself than anyone else at my continuing ability
to go around the place being a complete wallflower. It's seriously
frustrating when the less talented or the less qualified shine out and
are given all manner of recognition and opportunities while I might as
well be invisible for the all the impact I seem to make.

But as Hubby tells me, I am seriously my own worst enemy for knowing
all these things and still not being assertive enough.

Being the nice girl just doesn't work to get one ahead in this world.

mirror, mirror...

You know when you have those mornings when you get out of bed in your
undies and stare at yourself in the full length mirror and think "Wow
– I look pretty hot – I've lost loads of weight and my hair is all
messy in a sexy, just-out-of-bed way" and then you put on your glasses
and see that you're just as frumpish and messy as you normally look in
the morning?

Reality is so much better when it's out of focus.

January

I'm being really anti-social here - but something happened...

...I joined Facebook.

Don't hate me!
It seems to be the thing that all the other 18-35s are doing! Even if
I have no interest in gathering 500 "friends", it's been nice to throw
a few hellos to people I haven't seen in a while.

Hubby is loving it.

Unlike me, he lost touch with all of his highschool friends 12 years
ago so he's been doing the big catch-up thing. All the people he went
to school with in South London look dodgy as anything, seem to still
be renting in the same neighbourhood, working in the local
supermarket, with three kids and no spouse.
I had to ask Hubby what kind of bogan, trashy school he went to!!

Apart from the crazy weather, this month has been good.
Love Sydney Festival and all the free things on this time of year:

- Loved the Brian Wilson concert in the Domain.
- Looking forward to the Sydney Symphony tommorow - hopefully it doesn't rain!
- Will try and catch some free movies at Olympic Park.
- Will definately catch Katie Noonan and Kate Miller-Heidke at the
Australia Day concert next week.
- Will also check out both Shakespeare By the Sea plays at Balmoral Beach.

Hubby's a bit stressed about work. It's all going well, but it's not
always easy to get along with his business partner who is a bit of an
arrogant little shit. He doesn't take on feedback well, stick to
processes, listen to other people's opinions or, well, work hard. And
I am NOT going to say "I told you so" because, really, they are doing
very well - it's just a personality thing that's really getting to
Hubby. They've just got to make it work.

...did I say sometime before that I hate being a grown-up with grown-up issues?

what I did on my summer holidays...

So I launched into talking about food! That's how I start the New Year, is it?!

I mean, I *have* resolved to be healthy and lose weight and all the
usual January promises - but I *still* go on imaginary binges!

Okay. Let's take a step back.

I enjoyed the Christmas holiday break.

We went away with another couple to the Shoalhaven area for the
weekend before Christmas (a couple of hours drive south of Sydney,
along the coast.) It was just lovely to relax and get away.

We resolved the issue with Hubby's driving license suspension. It just
goes to show - you can access *real people* in
government-agency-call-centre hell! You just need to be a bit clever
about it - such as using the number supplied for overseas callers so
that instead of getting put on hold, the same two people answer the
phone straight away every time! Anyway, with much harassment from my
end - consisting of spamming them with evidence of Hubby's innocence
and arguing against all suggestions from them that he elect to go on a
good behaviour bond (because it makes their paperwork easier), I got
the whole thing revoked. In writing. From both government agencies
involved. Before Christmas even! Yay me!

And Christmas was wonderful. My cousin and her family were visiting
from Perth. She has three kids and it was the first time (since we
were kids) that we had children around for Christmas. It certainly
changes things in a very nice way. They were good kids - great to hang
out with.

The three Opera House concerts were fantastic. I just loved the
feeling of being on stage in a full house in the Concert Hall with
such talented performers. I had a total schoolgirl crush on the
conductor! I loved the music. It's such a high to be part of that.

NYE was nice. We just wanted a simple one this year - Hubby's still
not in the celebratory mood at all and it's been hard on him.
Christmas was hard. It's still weird, you know - that he can't just
pick up the phone and call his Dad. It was just so sudden. Anyway.

We caught the fireworks - very, very pretty - avoided the crowds,
didn't drink much and went to bed early...

...and thought the usual thoughts about how much happens in just one
year and how quickly it all went by.

Perfect Day

I would so love...

To start with a yummy fruit platter - with gorgeous, fresh, tropical
fruits - hmmmm.

Then - a coffee tasting expedition. Sampling wonderful aromatic brews
from around the world.

For lunch - cheese platter! All sorts of beautifully crafted cheeses
from squishy, baked garlic Camemberts to stinky Stiltons.

And - a beautiful selection of breads - crusty baguettes, olive
sourdoughs, flaky roti chanai - yum!

And after that - wine tasting. From crispy whites, through to
sparkling Shiraz and ending in the stickies.

Following that - chocolate tasting - from delicate milks to the
deepest of darks.

Bliss.

Wrap-up 2007 and resolutions 2008

2007 Highlights:

Graduating as a PhD (and thereby joining the exclusive "PhD before 30"
club!)

Enjoying the quiet suburban life with Hubby and discovering the pleasures
of gardening (whilst turning into an old granny!)

Getting a promotion and joining the ranks of people who can take sad,
frivolous pleasure from putting "Senior" before their titles in email
signatures.

Re-joining a choir and singing in two different concerts.

2007 Lowlights:

Seeing the pain Hubby is going through with his Dad's unexpected death.

Feeling like I've become one of those people who have stressy shit going on
in their lives all the time.

2008 Resolutions:

I will bind the final copies of my PhD thesis, even if I'll only use it for
bookends!

I will finish writing the research paper that I've carried around in my
handbag all year (oh god, that's so sad).

I will stop being paranoid about esoteric crap such as "never reaching my
potential as a person" and similar introspective nonsense.

I will grow a backbone and learn to not let people walk all over me.

I will stop binging on chocolate just because it's there.

I will keep up with the nice 20 min morning, lunch and evening walks that
I've been doing.

I will do a better job keeping in touch will all my lovely friends.

We're going away in a couple of days - just for a mini-break before
Christmas (yay!)
So here's my Christmas message to you all:

Thanks for reading, thanks for all your supportive comments, hugs to all of
you. It's been lovely reading you and getting to know you.

Have a safe, peaceful and joyful Christmas and love to all your families.

Jezzy
xxx

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End of year meme - stolen from deemacgee

1) Where did you begin 2007?

Enjoying fireworks at the Harbour. Been doing it every year since I was a
teen and I still don't tire of it. There's nothing nicer than spending the
evening sipping fizzy vino and stuffing one's face with yummy finger food
while sitting on a picnic rug on a warm NYE night. Bliss.

2) What was your status by Valentine's Day?

Married. As I have been since a certain Valentine's Day in 2004!

3) Were you in school (anytime this year)?

Nope – for once!

4) How did you earn your money?

Working in the legal side of drug dealing.

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?

Only to visit others. Touch wood, but the last time I was in hospital for
myself was when I had my tonsils out in 1992.

6) Did you have any encounters with the police?

Not this year! No one is falsely accusing my husband of assault at the
moment, thank God! (And, regarding this btw, I have completely lost all
hope that most people in the world are good at heart. How could I have
been so naïve? There are bad, bad people out there who think nothing of
hurting those closest to them.)

7) Where did you go on holiday?

Malaysia and China – it was great. And I went to England, but that wasn't
really a holiday at all. We're hoping to spend a few days down the south
coast somewhere over the Christmas break recuperating. Someone has some
holiday house somewhere around there.

8) What did you purchase that was over $1000?

Airline tickets to England paying that off is gonna eat up most of my
Christmas bonus – but I suppose that's what things like that are useful
for – those extra bits of money which cover all the unexpected expenses
when you're feeling broke. Apart from that, we're still in a
post-purchasing-house-mortgage-meltdown-period and have tried avoiding
anything too costly.

9) Did you know anybody who got married?

Yes, a good friend from my PhD years got married in September and had a
lovely wedding.

10) Did you know anybody who passed away?

Yes, and it still seems not real.

12) Did you move anywhere?

Nope. I'm such a homebody that I bought a house 5 mins away from where I
grew up. You can't pick this girl up and dump her somewhere else!

14) What concerts/shows did you go to?

Oooh, not as many this year as usual, actually. I was lucky enough to get
to see a lovely production La Traviata at the Opera House at the start of
the year. I sung in a choir in a concert in October (but I hate that I
never actually get to *see* the concert when I'm in it!). I'm singing
again in the same choir in three performances at the Opera House in a few
weeks' time (gaaah – three hour rehearsal tonight!)
I probably saw a couple of plays...but I'm having a mental blank at the
moment.

15) Are you registered to vote?

Of course. This is Australia and I don't want to be fined!

16) Who did you want to win Big Brother?

n/a at the moment. Besides, it was so crap this year and I'm not watching
next year – I hate Kyle – I can't believe how stupid he is!

17) Where do you live now?

Sydney. Although that means a lot - it's a wide, spread out city. I'm in
the suburbs. But not in a wanky/swanky area and not in that horrible
south-western, sprawling wasteland and not in the soulless north-western
Bible belt. I'm in sweet, relaxing, safe suburban Sydney and I hope it
stays that way!

18) Describe your birthday.

Fairly ordinary, as always. So ordinary, I can't remember it! (Or I'm going
senile). That being said, I'm sure I got some lovely gifts and nice words
from the people who really matter.

19) What's one thing you thought you'd never do but did in 2007?

Gosh. Go unexpectedly to England? Be at the funeral of poor Hubby's daddy?
That's the reoccurring theme in this meme.

20) What has been your favourite moment?

Hmmm, this is hard. I guess knowing that I really do have good friends who
really do care about me after all. That bit's nice.

21) What's something you learned about yourself?

That being a "nice girl" will be my downfall with regards to my career.

Watch while I let vile people stomp all over me while I'm too frozen to do
anything about it.
Watch while I yet again let all my potential go to waste.
Watch while my Performance Reviews state the same thing as my school
reports did: "She is a very diligent worker but very quiet."
Bleh. I have gone nowhere and I'm still in the same social mess I was in 20
years ago.
I got a fairly good promotion two weeks ago and felt nothing. It's that
whole issue of having the mean girls overpowering me even though they're
less talented and certainly less nice.
But I don't want to not be me just so I can get ahead, just so I can be
noticed. There's got to be away I can be less invisible yet not annoying
or up myself.

On the other hand, I have a bit more perspective about all of this – I know
at the end of the day, it's just work.

But I spend too much time here and I care too much about what others think
and I mull too much about why I'm such a wallflower to not worry about it.

22.) Any new additions to your family?

Nope. I did get clucky after spending time with my cute niece, but I'm not
ready yet.

Stay tuned...

23.) What was your best month?

Well, October was going really, really well but I jinxed it all by saying
"looks like life is finally calming down". I will never do that again!

24.) Where will you be ending 2007?

Probably in a very similar way to which it started. It's all cyclical,
isn't it?
Despite everything, it's been a pretty good year. There's been some
heartbreak and sadness, but it's not pushed us apart. I'm sad still but
it's okay, you know?

There's been good news – Hubby was recently declared cancer-free after two
years and that means there's a low chance of it ever coming back!

That's great! But I also don't want to have to deal with such things.

I think another thing I've learnt from 2007 is that things aren't going to
get all better someday. There will always be shit to deal with and there's
no use in postponing life until such things resolve thinking "I'll be happy
when such-and-such is over and then maybe we can think about starting to do
such-and-such" because sometimes there isn't time and there certainly isn't
a "good time" for it.

I just wish for some peace in our lives.
At least for this time of year.

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just a bit fed up...

Just because we don't already have enough stress in our lives...

Hubby has had his driver's license suspended due to some stupidity on behalf of his business partner.

The work cars are in Hubby's name and his business partner copped a speeding fine on a double-demerit weekend - 6 points off his license.
The bill was due while we were away in England and instead of filling in a stat dec to get the fine changed to his own name, he paid it - which meant the points were taken off Hubby's license, bringing Hubby's total demerits for the past 3 years to 12 - instant license suspension! Gaah!!

We're trying to fix this but with the limited working days until it comes into effect in January, I dunno what's going to happen.
Hubby needs the car to run his business!
Hubby's good at not getting angry at people but I'm furious at the stupidity/lazyness of his business partner. Surely someone with a degree can read a basic form that says "Do not pay this fine if the person named above was not the driver at the time of the incident"?!

A tenant in one of our properties hasn't paid rent for 6 weeks. I'm a reasonable person and I understand he's broken up with his girlfriend and lost his job and must be depressed or something. But that doesn't mean he can mess up my place that I own and not even pay anything at all to be there. There was no attempt to pay a little at a time until he found a new job - and the place smells like piss. Why? It's a nice place in a really good area - why should I let him stay there for free while we're really broke right now? So the little fucker can add a tenant's blacklisting and an eviction to his list of Christmas presents. Even if we claim the bond, it wont cover the lost rent or cost to clean up the place - and it's not easy to get tenants this time of year - most people would wait until January at this point. *sigh*

Hubby is still really down about his Dad. Maybe even deeper than before as the knowledge sinks in that he wont see him ever again. It's so sad and I feel so useless.

Makes me think...is life going to be permanently stressful?

Will there be some point in the future where I'm not riding on a sea of drama?

No?
Okay, as long as I know.
I can deal with that.