1. Chocolate. But only the good sort - none of this sugary, tasteless el cheapo crap. A few select pieces of lemon myrtle dark chocolate from a specialist shop is much better than a family sized block from the supermarket.
2. Flowers. Yes, I know it's a cliche, but surprise gifts of flowers are lovely. Except when we're suspicious of you and except when you've been behaving like a dog and want to suck up to us - we don't buy it. But gifts of fragrant flowers are always lovely. And we like it more if you then get the vase out and arrange it for us. You should know our favourite type.
3. Letters and notes. The written word means a lot to us. Get some help if you have a limited vocabulary. You can't do a whole lot with monosyllables.
4. Tell us how you feel about us. We like that a lot. We especially like it if you've developed some unique way of saying "I love you" like Westley yelling out "As you wish!" as he tumbled down the hill in the Princess Bride. That kind of thing causes heart flutters.
5. Worship us. For we are goddesses. I'm serious. And that's all I have to say here. If you can do this, you're doing well.
6. Do housework without being asked to do it. Also, do at least 60% of the housework - we need to feel a little spoilt and we like telling our friends about how wonderful you are around the house. Make sure you do the ironing. We hate that.
7. Give us loads of attention. But don't smother us. It's a fine line. You need to be aware of what mood we're in in order to achieve this one successfully.
8. Buy us things. Just little gifts. Yes, we like diamonds and the such, but we're happy enough with something simple and inexpensive too. But make sure you get us things that show you listen to us and know what we like and what we're into.
9. Brag about us. To all your friends and family. Tell them how wonderful you think we are. Often. It's tres flattering for us even if it makes others feel a little nauseous.
10. Foot massages. Leg massages. Back massages. With fragrant oils and the such. We especially like it when said massages lead to something else...
Okay, agree/disagree? Have I missed anything?