Okay - all the girls seem to have been doing posts on their ideal man. I guess Kira started it off with her post about boys who like dumb girls.
So what do I go for in a boy?
I guess all girls write those lists - especially as a teen - of what they're looking for in members of the opposite sex. I'm always amused to read back on some of the things I've written - my thoughts and opinions on this subject have changed a lot over the years.
In some ways, I'm less specific, less worried about things that don't really matter. In other ways though, I'm more knowledgeable about what I need/want in a man. I guess it's all about realising what's really important.
A lot of people go for a certain type. However, if I think back about the boys I've really liked over the years, it would seem that I don't actually have a "type".
All those boys have nothing in common - and probably wouldn't even get along with each other.
But the more I think about it, the one thing that links them all together is that they're nice. Nice people.
That's right - bad boys just don't do it for me. In fact, I don't get the attraction to "bad boys". They're not sexy, they're just wanky.
I like nice boys. Kind people. Sweethearts.
The type of guys who know how to be affectionate, who aren't afraid to say "those words" (because I struggle like anything to say "I love you" - it makes me feel too vulnerable and I hate the thought that I wont hear those words back - I need a man who doesn't find it as difficult or neither of us would ever open up about it!)
I like boys who are kind to their families, who get along with their parents, who love children, who aren't afraid of talking about their feelings. Yup - typical SNAGs.
I like boys who are lovely to talk to for long periods of time. Who I feel comfortable with.
I like guys who are comfortable showering a girl with attention and who also like being showered with affection themselves. In every relationship I've had - okay, there haven't been that many - I was pretty young when I got together with hubby! But in every one that I've had, I've been in contact with the guy everyday. Usually multiple times a day. I need this. Even now - I speak to my husband at least 5 times a day while I'm at work. Yes, I realise a lot of people aren't like this - but I just miss him when he's not around.
Yes, I'm probably not the most independent lady - but I like that cling. That feeling where two people just really need each other. Some guys hate that and would feel that a girl like me was too clingy or too stalky. But the difference between an obsessive stalker and someone who's just really affectionate is whether the other person doesn't mind all the attention! I like it - Hubby likes it - it's all good.
I guess I can be more specific about what I *don't* like.
I don't like guys who are all in with the "boys' club" in a major way - the players, the arrogant ones who think they're sexy and successful and are obsessed with their fancy cars and who spend copious time hanging out at the gym and checking out their oversized muscles. It's not attractive to me.
I don't like boys who are stupid. I'm not saying they have to have loads of letters after their name or be able to quote Shakespeare's sonnets - there's many different types of intelligence. They just need to have their wits about them, they need to be bright.
I'm not really into the "pretty boys" - the ones who are picture perfect but who lack substance. Yawn. It's such a turn-off.
I don't like boys who try to be all aloof and detached and therefore ignore girls! It's all too common. I got really shitty when I heard a guy- one of Hubby's friends - saying he's going to wait three days before calling this girl he met because he didn't want to appear too keen. Cut the crap! Girls do this too. It's stupid behaviour. If you want to speak to someone, call them. Game playing just fucks with people's emotions. If you like someone, show them. I can't stand emotional bullshitting.
I don't like boys who get bored or switch off once they get what they want. They are the ultimate losers. Don't like them.
Okay - and everyone has their superficial attractions - I love accents. Cute accents. Hubby has the cutest ever English accent. *sigh* I can listen to him for ages without hearing what he's actually saying. lol
EDIT - Sunday 21st May: OMG - how could I forget???! I need a man who knows all about how important cuddles are. Cuddles are my life!!!
10 comments:
Carla on "Cheers" had the best line ever about British accents: "Even when he says something stupid it sounds smart!"
Actually, I agree with almost everything you wrote here. A friend of mine and I had a long conversation last night about what women want in men. The guy I was hanging out with hasn't been with anyone in about a year (his last girlfriend left him for a co-worker--she brought him over to the house, hung on him all night, and when he asked if they were involved, she said, "Well of course we are!" Now THAT's rejection!). Anyway, he's a smart, funny guy. But he looks terminally normal, and despite what we all say, looks count, because most people go on their first impressions and don't look any further.
Anyway...good post.
Ouch - your poor friend! *That's* rejection.
Looks count, yeah - of course. But as long as the guy isn't hideous or morbidly obese, it isn't an issue. Terminally normal is perfectly fine. I'd rather a terminally normal looking guy than a self-obsessed pretty boy. It just don't do it for me.
Hubby's very cute to me - and I'm creepy enough to watch him for hours as he sleeps, lol - but that's more to do with his personality - loving, sweet and affectionate. He not *that* good looking - it's his nature that makes him attractive.
I used to like bad boys. Bad boys brought me my ex. The end.
Now I'm all for nice boys! Alex is the nicest of the nice...however, I have to say that I love that he has backbone too. That is, he really will do anything for anybody, but if you upset somebody he loves...slowly back away or that's it for you (and I KNOW yours is like that too...)! Alex would do the five phonecalls in a day in a heartbeat if I'd let him, but that's honestly too much for me. However, when we ARE together and we DO talk on the phone, he hangs off my every word and shows me that I totally matter. I can't ever live without a guy actually paying attention and listening to me...I used to not have that, and now that I do, I won't ever be without it or the guy's kicked to the curb! Alex can repeat back to me the tiniest detail from two years ago that we discussed. I love that. I also love how I can roll out of bed in the morning with bedhead and morning breath and he still looks at me as if I'm the most gorgeous woman alive. Yeah, I admit it: I love being adored. Is that bad?
I'm so with you on accents, too! Alex has the best Brit accent with a hint of French. Since his mum was from Hastings, his English definitely is of a southern England accent. Yum!
Yes, sweetheart men with yummy accents who don't play games. That sounds like my ideal man too :)
I'M English and even I'm a sucker for a southern English accent.
Give my a public school man any day!
...I like a pulse.
*criteria met*
I have surprisingly little sex for someone with no standards.
(everything above this line is wildly inaccurate)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah ha ha doc-t!!! You nailed it, bud!
deemacgee, you like the P squared equasion. A penis and a pulse.
Nice is good. Employed is good. Smart is good. Finding all three in one person is great.
Kira - yes, you're right - he's a nice boy with a backbone - he'd punch the shit out of anyone who said a bad thing about me! Being adored is wonderful. Here's the conversation when I woke up this morning:
Jezzy: [opens eyes and sees Hubby staring down at her]
Hubby: Hello you. Do you know that it's no surprise that your perfect?
Jezzy: Hmm?
Hubby: Well I wasn't going to settle for anything less than perfect, was I?
Yep- awww - corny as hell, he was probably thinking up that line for the last half hour. I love being adored too.
Amanda - pretty gets boring after a while. I once dated one of the most beautiful creatures ever made. But he was dumb as shit.
Fudge - accents are just dreamy.
Doc-t - I don't get it. I've never liked bad boys. For some women, there's something very masculine and sexy about the "evolutionary throwback"-types. But it gets very tired, very quickly. To me, the sexiest thing about a man is his mind.
deemacgee - I don't believe you for a minute. You have high standards, my dear. Hmmm, hang on - if what you wrote is wildly inaccurate, you must be having loads of sex - lucky you!
Laurita - P squared - love it! And I know you have higher standards than that too!
Eeek, no! Argh! I'm never using inverse grammatical logic ever again!
My point was that at the moment, all it takes to spark my male appreciation process is thirty seconds of their attention.
(This is the bit where I say something about not having had a shag for... ummm.. four-and-a-half years and not missing it even slightly)
Frigging hell, I neva thawt inglish was so hard.
lol - I was kidding. But you don't miss it - even just a bit?! I;m not sure if I would either, you know.
Not really, no. Like I keep telling people - my mother and brother especially - there's more to life than a regular bonk.
And besides which, he never brought to uncontrollable-moaning-and-full-body-convulsion-orgasm like The Media promised me.
There are... practical... alternatives.
Post a Comment