linked mainly to two men, both dying as martyrs. St Valentine's feast
day of February 14th isn't recognised as such by the Church anymore as
the story of the saint is more the stuff of legends than fact.
But Valentine's Day is a huge event with all the commercial annoyances
of Christmas. And like Christmas, you have a number of choices:
A) Embrace the whole commercial thing with loads of enthusiasm.
B) Try to celebrate what it's really about or what you believe it
should be about.
C) Ignore it and hope it will go away.
I'm a B person.
I'm not cynical enough to be a C person. Besides, if I were, I'd be
letting the whole commerical thing win and I refuse to let that
happen. I also hate over-commercialising of things to the extent where
all the meaning of the event is stripped and we're left with useless
presents and huge credit card bills.
So for Valentine's Day, and our 3rd wedding anniversary, we ditched
presents and roses (I have my own scented roses in bloom in my garden
at the moment anyway!) and we spent the evening with a bunch of
married couples at a church where we used to attend.
It was lovely to spend the time with married couples of all ages who
have all had such different experiences. After a short Mass, we had a
structured discussion about the high and low points of the previous
year.
Hubby and I had plenty of stories to share and we really enjoyed
listening to what other couples had been through and how important it
is to get strength from each other during tough times, and to
appreciate the joy of the good times.
We listened to a talk about being ambitious. Not about careers or
lifestyle, but about our marriages.
It's easy to have dreams and expectations regarding what the perfect
marriage and perfect husband/wife should be like. Most of us have
those romantic notions.
But dreams and expectations are passive. And those things leave us
open to disappointment - after all, our spouse is as imperfect as we
are.
He or she shouldn't be expected to cater to our every wish and
effortlessly fulfil our every desire.
Life is not a Mills and Boon novel.
Having ambition, however, is not passive. It requires us to work out
how to make our dreams and expectations a reality. It's up to us to
work at it.
We all had to work out what we'd choose as our ambition for the year.
It had to be concrete and achievable and, of course, related to our
marriages.
They also catered a wonderfully romantic, candlelit dinner. It was just lovely.
And it was great to do such a romantic thing, keeping in spirit with
Valentine's Day, without receiving a dozen long-stemmed roses, a plush
bear and a heart-shaped box of chocolates while having dinner sitting
with myriad dating couples trying to impress each other.
It's got to be a bit more meaningful, original and heartfelt than that!
3 comments:
Sweets, forgive me, but i don't get it. You went to church?
Well i guess as long as you had a good night and got plenty of lovin' it's all good.
Awww...that's a cool program your church had! I don't normally think of going to church on a romantic holiday, but the context you provided shed light on how it made perfect sense. It almost sounds like one of the marriage encounter types of programs. Cool! So glad you had a great time with hubby :)
i think thats lovely - well done you!
probably the letter was harder and more thoughtful and honest a gift than roses would have been.
and i think its really nice you spent time at church. love is about communities too, not just the couple themselves.
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