You know you're bored when you randomly surf through blogs looking for a nice meme...

...and you know you have no life these days when, shortly after the
school reunion, you realise that you have few social events until
Christmas.

(That's not entirely true. There's parties to be had, and plenty of
people who fit in the category of "haven't seen in ages, must catch up
with before Christmas". But I digress, so thanks for the comments
about the reunion, as per usual I'll answer them if/when I get a
chance to visit my actual blog - ie. not from work. And here's the
meme...)

I AM: not the girl you used to know but somehow still the same. Just
older, wiser and more cynical (hey - it happens to us all, doesn't
it?)

I WANT: peace of mind. Sounds so droll but it's funny how priorities
change over the years. Gimme a little time where I have nothing to
worry about, nothing to fear, nothing to fret about. I miss being such
a happy-go-lucky girl.

I HAVE: so much more to offer. It makes me annoyed I can't push myself
forward to be recognised when so many others with far less ability and
talent find it easy to position themselves in centre stage.

I WISH: that life didn't turn out this way. But there's a lot of good
here too and I am happy for what I have. Maybe I just wish life wasn't
this complicated and that sad things didn't have to happen. It's
almost the opposite of how things were 10 years ago when I'd wish for
something, anything, interesting to happen. Now I just want some
stability, some security, and the ability to sleep in more often,
reading a book in bed.

I HATE: feeling like I have no control. I also hate banks, filling in
forms that don't make sense and the loss of the regular Sunday night
trashy romantic comedy on TV. And I hate bad Australian comedy like
The Wedge or David Tench - absolutely atrocious.

I MISS: my Hubby when I'm at work. And I resent the fact that I have
to spend more of my day at the workplace than with him. I also miss
having nothing to worry about other than what to wear to so-and-so's
party on the weekend.

I HEAR: lots of people, including myself, typing. Which is good.
Normally it's the shrill tones of those sitting near me having a
stupid conversation in that fake, sing-song high-pitched, "OMG!"
voice. I hate that. Want to swat such people.

I WONDER: How much harder things can get before they get easier.

I REGRET: Some of the motives behind my decisions. I've made many
mistakes in my adult life and they're mistakes I wouldn't have made
had I not been so selfish and self-focussed.

I AM NOT: going to ever fit in around this particular workplace. I
don't hate it, but I don't really fit in. And I'm glad. I do not want
to join the ranks of these insane people who make a huge deal out of
things that DO NOT REALLY MATTER - GET SOME PERSPECTIVE PEOPLE!!
*breathe, Jezzy, breathe*

I DANCE: in front of the mirror in my room at night. In a very silly
manner. Last night we were pretending to make our own music video to
Meatloaf's "It's all Coming Back To Me" (love those big, gothic Jim
Steinman songs).

I SING: along with my ipod if I'm walking down a busy street. The cars
are so loud, surely no one notices!

I CRY: more than I used to. But that's okay, I could be bit of an ice
queen in the past.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: depressed, despite how my blog reads!

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: dinner. Most nights. Except when it's easier to
dial-a-pizza.

I WRITE: all day. Whether it's for work or blogging or answering
emails, I am continually typing.

I CONFUSE: boys. Or I used to. lol - nah, I'm just remembering this
guy who used to like me when I was 16 who kept telling me that I was
confusing. No doubt I threw him a million mixed messages. That's what
girls do.

I NEED: loads of compliments! It's pathetic, I know, but as soon as
someone says something nice to me I beam about it all day. On Monday,
some guy told me my hair looked good. I was smiling for about two
hours afterwards. I should have enough self-esteem to not cling onto
such things!

I SHOULD: get myself a bikini body for Summer which is approaching all
too fast. But I wont. I think I'll always have those extra 5kg to lose
(like most people). But I don't care - makes me all the nicer to
cuddle. Besides, if I did lose weight, I'd lose my boobs and I only
just grew them a few years ago - they're still a novelty to me! (One
of the comments I got at the school reunion was "You look just the
same - with more boobs!)

I love you all so you're all tagged if you want it.