Case in point.
Last Tuesday night, we had a last minute invitation to dinner from one
of Hubby's friends.
I was asked to invite one of my younger cousins along (since he has a
crush on her!)
My cousin in 23.
This is how it panned out.
5pm. Jezzy calls Cousin.
Jezzy: Hi sweetie! What are you up to tonight?
Cousin: Nuthin much. What's up with you two?
Jezzy: [Hubby's friend] has invited us around for dinner. He says he
wants you to meet his younger sister while she's visiting from London.
Wanna come? We can pick you up at seven. What say you?
Cousin: Where you are going? I don't really want a big night because
of work tomorrow.
Jezzy: Sames. It won't be a biggie.
Cousin: Okay. That sounds good. I'll let you know later what I'm up
to. Okay, bye.
Jezzy: ???
6pm. Cousin calls Jezzy.
Cousin: So what time are you leaving?
Jezzy: We just got home. We'll leave at 7pm, proll. So will be at your
house just past then.
Cousin: Okay, I should be good. Will let you know.
Jezzy: ????
6.30pm. Cousin calls Jezzy.
Cousin: Hey Jez, I don't think I'll make it tonight. I'm really tired.
Say soz for me.
Jezzy: Yeah, don't worry about it.
Cousin: Yeah, maybe I'll see you tomorrow night. I'll let you know
what I'm up to.
Jezzy: ?????
I seriously don't get it.
All I want is a yes or no. Why is this so hard?!
Is it because they've never known what it's like to arrange their
social life without a mobile phone?
2. Splitting the restaurant bill unfairly.
Now I usually don't mind splitting the bill in half when I go out with
a friend, but I have one friend who is a repeat offender for blatantly
profiting off others. She eats heaps and then says "so we'll split
it?" and I can't say no or I'll look like a tight arse.
Case in point:
What Jezzy ordered: Homemade spinach and fetta ravioli with napolitana
sauce - small size. Small serve of french beans. Mineral water.
What friend ordered: Garlic bread. 300g steak with chips, serve of
vegetables. Gelato. Lemon squash.
Jezzy's bill: $18.
Friend's bill: $38.
Amount each person paid: $30
I know she's a lawyer and therefore probably has switched off the
trigger that says "Alert, alert, you are ripping someone off!!" but
still, isn't this unfair? I just ate some really expensive pasta and
she got a discount off her meal.
If it happened once, fine. But this is all the time - she always does this.
What to do?
4 comments:
I solved that one by never splitting the bill down the middle. I always have the waitress split the check if I'm just paying for my own. I don't want to pay for anybody else's meal unless I offered to pay for it. I think I split the meal down the middle once in my whole life, with a friend who we really WERE splitting everything and sharing it so it was a mutual meal (my best friend from 13 yrs of age onwards and I love food, so we decided to just agree on what to order, throw it in the middle of the table, and go for it! It was fun, actually). Doing it the way your friend does it would really make me feel resentful, to be honest.
I agree with Kira. No point in getting all resentful about it, and your friend probably doesnt even realise that it's a problem for you. Slightly insensitive, but I'm reliably told that lawyers can be a bit self obsessed.
Did you ever watch the Friends where it was someone's birthday and Pheobe, Rachel and Joey resented having to split the bill at a posh restaurant as they couldn't afford it?
It was awkward when the others found out, but cheaper in the long run!
I always just say, "Let's do separate bills - it keeps it easier." It's not awkward at all and no one walks away feeling used.
Have been in this situation and felt the same way....normally don't mind saying 'let's pay for our own', but I did end up feeling awkward once when doing it for the first time with a friend like yours. Her bill was more expensive that hubby's and mine together! Gets easier though.
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